The Frustration of Being a Single Mother
The Frustration of Being A Single Mother
When you think of motherhood, you think of the things that come naturally–feeding them, getting up in the middle of the night, bathing them, and making sure they have everything for school. But what about motherhood as a single woman? What happens to all those things that seemed easier with two parents?
You see when you part ways from the father, they think that paying a little daycare here and there is a remedy for everything. They’re not there when it’s the middle of the night and the kids can’t sleep, and they don’t take off work when one (or both) of the kids are sick. What about when you want that break? You know, like a day to yourself to unwind. They throw the “I’m busy” or ask “why?”. They just don’t ever seem to understand. My children are the best thing to happen to me and I will always make sure that they are taken care of, but why is it all on my shoulders? Why does it seem like I am holding the weight of the world alone? The thing about being a single mom that people don’t want to acknowledge is the drain it puts on you mentally. You’re constantly going full gear and having to do everything on time by yourself. You cook, you clean, you bathe them, put them in bed, and then you wonder “can I relax now?” or “do I have time for myself?” Before you can even answer your own questions, the cycle repeats itself and that’s what fathers don’t see.
Lord don’t even get me started on how everyone looking from the outside thinks they know just how good of a parent you are or how “bad” of a parent you are because of social media. I’m not posting about my kids every day or posting every time I wipe a tear because dammit that’s MY job as THEIR mom, not all you nitpicking, nosy people’s mom. Here’s the thing though, the moment a dad posts pictures with their child and they're hugging up all on them, showing them love—everyone falls to their knees, praising them for being a good father. As a mother, you’re expected to sacrifice everything and figure out all the problems as soon as possible, but dads—sometimes they just refuse to try hard enough to fix the issue and just push it aside. A mom is built to figure things out, make sh*t happen, and to make sure her kids are happy and successful. Dads aren't held to that same standard. They're allowed to only visit every blue moon and give the least amount of effort. Society has rules and expectations for moms, but where are these rules and expectations for dads?
How can you sit outside the house and act as if you have no responsibility for the kids WE created? Like you don’t have as much responsibility as me? It makes no damn sense. But you see, that’s the world we (unfortunately) live in. There’s this nagging question in me: “do i continue to beat a dead horse–keep poking and prying–or do I just say f*ck it and go on?” You’re viewed as a superhero–superman, but what about me? Where’s my handclap? My praise? I don’t get any because guess what? What I do is EXPECTED of me. You are held to a lower standard because most men don’t see the difficulties of being a single parent. DAMN THAT! Those standards are low as shit. All you’re expected to do is the bare minimum and here you go receiving a trophy and high five. God forbid, I do the bare minimum because then I’m a deadbeat mom. Why do I have to post everything I do with my kids to earn acceptance? Memories I create for MY kids is just that, memories FOR US and not the world. Let me be very clear, if you are measuring how much somebody is taking care of their child based on what they put on social media, you need to get a new measuring tool because that ain’t it!
These are some of the reasons why I am frustrated as a single mom. So, the next time you question a single mom or her love for her children, make sure you know that she is dealing with frustration and putting in countless sacrifices, blood, sweat, and tears for those children.
Check out 5 life hacks on how to gain me time or 4 Ways to Maintain Your Sanity for some ways to help you relax and find daily peace.
